Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Marriage


[Kristina's hand.] Somewhere in my childhood I was taught to look forward to a temple marriage, a celestial marriage, a “marriage for time and all eternity.” I was taught to keep myself morally clean and faithful to my future wife throughout all the intervening years before I should ever meet her. Like all young people I suffered the struggles of loneliness and premature desire. I prayed to Heavenly Father and told Him that I wanted a good wife someday.

Pam and I got married December 17, 1983 and I have been saying ever since that that was the best day of my life. Our wedding and two receptions were relatively modest and I don’t remember much about the guests that attended but never before and never since have people gathered in my honor, bearing gifts, to wish me well. The very best gift of all was my beautiful bride that I unwrapped on our honeymoon night. We both stood naked, side by side, looking at ourselves in the full-length mirror. Adam and Eve.

For our honeymoon we drove from Provo to my parents’ house in Carlsbad. We planned a daytrip to see the Queen Mary in Long Beach but when we got there we thought the ticket prices were too expensive and so we gazed a few minutes at the ship from the dock and then left. Looking back I realize how poor we were then but we never felt poor because we always had hope and a plan to better ourselves and our financial situation.

Now, some 20 plus years later, my older kids are entering the age of relationships which causes me to reflect on the hazards of young people—so uninformed, so naïve, so unrealistic, so foolish, so impulsive—looking for love and companionship. I see a large segment of society has lost hope in traditional marriage yet I think most people still root for a love story with a happy ending. Worse, I see the moral attitudes of young people to be self-destructive and not leading to lasting happiness. Letting sexual impulses rule one’s life seems to be no different than letting hard drugs rule one’s life. While on TV we sometimes see advertisements that send a warning message, “Just Say NO to Drugs,” society has not yet reached the point where it can articulate the downside of misguided sexuality.

Some months ago I was reading a philosophy book by Will Durant, an atheist. Towards the end of the book Durant wrote about youth and love. Much to my surprise his words resonated with me in a way that “churchy” voices rarely do any more. I felt moved as I read his words and I felt an inner confirmation that the path that I had chosen was correct and still the best path to teach to my children.
“Youth, if it were wise, would cherish love beyond all things else, keeping body and soul clean for its coming, lengthening its days with months of betrothal, sanctioning it with a marriage of solemn ritual, making all things subordinate to it resolutely. Wisdom, if it were young, would cherish love, nursing it with devotion, deepening it with sacrifice, vitalizing it with parentage, making all things subordinate to it till the end. Even though it consumes us in its service and overwhelms us with tragedy, even though it breaks us down with its passing and weighs us down with separations, let it be first.”

-Will Durant, The Pleasures of Philosophy, Page 401



Saturday, November 18, 2006

Tour de Tucson 2006 No Más!

[Highway 98 along the Mexican border was our favorite training road. We would ride to the distant mountains and back. These three pictures are training pictures, not pictures of the race course.]

No Más!
109 Miles
Tour de Tucson
November 18, 2006

The title for this accounting shall be, No Más (No More). That was the title that popped into my head while I was yet standing in Tucson, post race, around the results board and talking to Brian, Angie (Brian’s wife), Mike Thompson, and Fred: No más! But let me start from the beginning.

After Tour de Tucson 2005
Achieving Platinum last year was a great feeling, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it again. I got a membership in the local health club and started pumping weights. Ten pounds of muscle and three months later I was back on the bike. Fred and Brian were in great cycling shape. Both had obvious training goals that were a step up from last year. On my first ride back with the group, Fred and I rode to Ocotillo and Fred beat me over the little hills. My legs were in great weight lifting shape but they became over-pumped on the hills and I couldn’t stand on them. Brian’s goal was the Omnium Road Race in the spring. I could sense Fred and Brian’s intensity hadn’t waned since Tucson 2005 and I knew in my heart that I had to train with them as long as their enthusiasm lasted. So in the spring of 2006 I was mentally committed to race Tucson again, just in time to be forced to reduce my training due to the extreme summer heat.

Thursday, November 16
Pam and I went to Tucson on Thursday night and pulled off the freeway at the Tangerine Road Exit and we drove on the remaining 20 miles to Tucson on the dark, moonless Silver Bell Avenue and examined the home stretch of the race. Ever since last year I have thought about the surge and free-for-all in my group at the finish of the Tour de Tucson 2005. This year I wanted to position myself better and sprint across the finish line as close to the front as possible.
Before getting a motel room Pam and I enjoyed some late-night waffles at the Waffle House. We stayed at the Roadway Inn and were absolutely disgusted by the room. It didn’t even have a clicker.
Friday, November 17

Friday morning we went to the expo, then off to Beyond Bread, a fabulous restaurant we found last year which happened to be right next to Bookman’s, a fabulous used book store where we unhurriedly purchased an armload of books--mostly children’s books and whatever Agatha Christie books that Pam didn’t already have.

Pam and I met Brian and Angie at 5:30 pm back at the expo. We watched a PowerPoint presentation by Dr. Arnie Baker who explained several problems with Floyd Landis’ drug test. The French press as well as other journalists attended the event and made several interviews. At 6:30 pm we attended the boring Platinum Meeting where all platinum riders received their passes to the platinum staging area on race day.

Back at the motel room, this time at Riverpark Inn (where we also stayed last year) Pam jokingly said goodbye to me as I was starting to go into race mode and rehearse in my mind all the events and contingencies that lay ahead. I mixed my bottles with utmost care.

Pre Race
I woke up at 1:00 am and lay in bed until 2:45. I got up and turned on a small light and Pam stirred and said, “Are you kidding?” She stared at me for a moment. “Never mind, do what you’ve got to do.” I slowly prepared everything and then at 4:30 am we went to get our pick of parking spots at the start line. I told Pam that I would rather be early, relaxed, and have the best parking spot than possibly feel frantic when things didn’t work out like I had hoped.
Pam and I set up the Revmaster behind the car, and then sat in the hatchback watching the people arrive. I found and greeted David Bailey who was the next of the Imperial Valley riders to arrive. He arrived early, like he meant business. I gave him a couple of hand warmers. I looked around for Fred who said he would arrive by 4:30 am, but I didn’t find him until after 5:00 am. We warmly greeted each other and wished each other well as we walked together to the porta potties. The last of the Imperial Valley riders I found was Brian. He was staged well in the Platinum area, a giant smile on his face, bouncing up and down like a boxer. He was dressed for cold this year, but the weather was almost pleasant (last year he was uncomfortably cold). I offered him some hand warmers, but he said he already had some. I could tell that Brian had rehearsed his day too. [actually I accepted your two warmers and put them on my thighs.]
I rode the Revmaster a bit between 6:20 and 6:40 am. All platinum riders were supposed to be in position by 6:45 am for a 7:00 am start. I saw Floyd Landis above me in the scaffolding as he spoke a few words to the thousands of riders. Robbie Ventura and a few other notables raised their arms as they were recognized.

My Goal
I felt pretty confident that I could achieve Platinum again so achieving Platinum was a secondary goal. My thoughts were preoccupied with staying with the lead group.

The Race
The start was so fast. We followed the classic wave pattern of traffic jams; going 27-30 mph and then slowing due to congestion. Then repeat. My heart was at its maximum. There was less congestion at the Santa Cruz Canyon this year, and I could jog pretty much at my own pace with my six bottles, unlike last year when I was forced to walk slowly and eat dust.

Coming out of the canyon I felt powerless for about a mile then my heart rate started to settle down. As my heart rate decreased, my leg power increased. I started passing people. Then as we turned left from Old Nogales Road to Los Reales Road there was a small accident as we rounded the corner. I turned outward to the right and went into the dirt. Now with both feet out of my pedals and a little congestion around me, I saw the lead riders riding off. I charged them as soon as I could. I charged for about 10 minutes hoping they would slow down for a short while. Finally I bonked (an anaerobic bonk). I had gone anaerobic for too long. This was a huge disappointment for my mind because I got dropped for a reason other than my fitness and out of my control. I looked back for the group that I had just left. They looked like ants on the horizon. I was in “no man’s land.” My effort to catch up to that first group was a gamble and I lost! I consoled my mind by saying to myself, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Now what was I going to do? I cruised until the pack caught up to me and then accelerated to stay with them. I felt my first cramping feelings in both calves and both quads and just tried to recover. I was disappointed and unaggressive for a long while.

Going down Houghton Street I heard a thud behind on the right side (I usually ride on the far left side. I hate getting boxed in) and I asked the guy to my right, “Was that a water bottle or did someone just go down?” He said, “Someone just went down.” Then on my left side, across the yellow line, a tandem passed at about 40 mph. I commented to another rider next to me, “Why do they have to pass so fast? They are not going anywhere. It’s not like they are going to break away. They are just being a hazard.”

The Sabino Canyon crossing was softer this year, and I couldn’t ride it like I did last year. I got through the creek bed, but didn’t feel as good as last year climbing the hills out of the canyon. Coming out of the canyon the big group split into several smaller groups all visible ahead and behind. Eventually these groups collapsed back into a larger group again. I was still suffering from negative thinking, but while riding up Oracle Road I felt my power returning.

I spent the rest of the race looking forward to a sprint finish. I never cared about my time; I knew a Platinum time was assured as long as I didn’t have a mishap, so my whole focus was the finish. I analyzed last year’s finish dozens of times in my head. At the bottom of Tangerine Road a rider hit a sign and went down. For every mile after Tangerine Road I was planning my finish. Up Silver Bell Road we were crawling slowly into a slight headwind. For the first time all day riders started to converse one with another. The pace was easy. Some complained of being tired. Others, like me, were waiting. I was going to move with the surge and finish aggressively. As we approached about mile 105 I whispered to the rider on my right, “Any minute all hell is going to break loose.”
Moments later I heard a sound just ahead on the far right: “Oh bicycles! Clack, clack, clack!” I took air, lost sight of everything, felt impacts to my body on all sides. I was sprawled out and wondered if I was going to get run over. My brain went through a process analogous to a computer shutting down and rebooting. My brain executed its diagnostic tests and slowly started directing my actions. I felt pain in my right hip. It took a few moments before I dared move my body at all. I rolled to my elbows and knees and took another inventory of my body parts. The girl rider ahead of me moaned out, “I think I broke my collar bone.” On my other side I heard, “I think I broke my knee! I wanted so badly to finish this race.” I made it to my feet and without focusing my eyes on anything in particular I said, “What happened?” The guy with the hurt knee answered as if I were talking to him. He explained that he hit a rock and went down. He pointed to a rock the size of a golf ball. The others who had fallen or stopped were all long gone now. Just four of us remained there. I picked up my bike and without noticing that my brake was rubbing I attempted to finish the race. Before I pedaled off I looked at the girl who was standing on the side of the rode in shock. I wish I had had the presence of mind to say something encouraging to her, but I said nothing. Her sad face lingered in my memory, but I later reasoned that she had to be a tough girl to be riding as fast as she was.

Post Race
I crossed the finish line and Pam asked with a puzzled face, “What happened?” I quickly told her. We walked over to the results board to see how much time I had lost. We saw Brian and Angie before 12 noon, so I knew that Brian had made Platinum again. We waited for Fred. Fred didn’t make it. Fred was the strongest man in a group that died. Fred looked strangely mystified by his Tucson experiences. This was not the moment to analyze Fred’s race, but I later thought that Platinum groups are formed in the first 30 minutes of the race. After that there is really no jumping ahead to a platinum group. After the first sorting out was over, I never felt like I had to struggle the rest of the race. In a phone conversation, Brian expressed the same thoughts.

Pam felt sympathy for me because of the crash and my road rash. And she doted on me like a good nurse. We got in the car and quickly drove north on the freeway. We could see hundreds of cyclists on the frontage road and on Tangerine Road. On the way home we stopped at the Red Lobster in Yuma. Pam was fun to be with, and I thought that when the kids are all gone we will be a happy old couple.

Afterthoughts
I have always been a health nut and I really love cycling, but I have serious misgivings about the dangers of riding fast in the Tour de Tucson. At this point I am disinclined to ride it again but, like Pam said, “You never want to have another baby right after giving birth.”

[The photo is of Highway 98 "The Grade" between Ocotillo and Jacumba]

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My good friend, Brian McNeece, also wrote of his experience of this same race. His website is no longer active, so no link is possible.

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El Tour de Tucson 2006: The Center Does Not Hold
by Brian McNeece

Performing an event four times usually means that you arrive with enough experience to pull it off with excellence.  Third time the charm must mean fourth time the guarantee.  In the case of a 109-mile bicycle race, however, the long duration of the intensity can still leave one searching for answers when things don’t go as planned.

That was sure the case for me.  My training partners Fred and Todd had put in a four month regimen designed to get us ready to break the five hour “platinum” barrier once again.  Fred, who hadn’t yet broken that barrier, had put in extra hill sessions climbing the yawing Mt. Springs grade to make sure that he had the legs to stay with a strong group at key points on the course.  We all had become knowledgeable about nutrition and hydration for a five-hour effort.  But despite our preparations, in each case, something happened to disappoint us.

An Auspicious Beginning

Saturday, November 18 in Tucson broke with temperatures in the low fifties and just a hint of a breeze.  By dawn, most of the 4000 riders for the 109 mile race were already in place.  Todd had arrived earliest to be well-positioned in the second row of the platinum group.  David Bailey, who was racing for the first time, had to settle for another 30 yards back in the gold section.  I waited until 5:30 but still was in about the 7th row of platinum.  Fred was a little behind David Bailey.  Friends from Mexicali had also arrived and were excited as the sun rose to the tune of Queen’s “I Want to Ride my Bicycle.”

Even though I had prepared for the cold by dressing for snow and handing my extra layers off to Todd’s wife Pam.  Even though I had tapered for two weeks prior to race day.  Even though I had dug deep into my reserves on my training rides.  Even though I was an experienced racer with three tours under my belt.  All these even thoughs didn’t keep me from slipping into a sort of dull stupidity as I rode the first 8 miles to the Santa Cruz wash.  I could have passed a few people in that critical section.  But instead I just held my place and took the wheel of the rider in front of me.  Of course, the pace was fast.  We were going a consistent 27, and without a moment of warm-up, I wasn’t in sprint mode. But still, in retrospect, I’ve told myself over and over that the key to this race is to ride as hard and as aggressively as possible in the first 30 miles.
 I’m getting too critical already.  For in fact, my starting position itself put me way up in the ranks.  And just sitting in with this group meant that I was a couple of hundred people ahead of David Bailey and Fred Fischer.

After the Wash: Push Until Tetanized

At the Santa Cruz Wash, we dismounted our bikes and began to jog them through the three-inch pad of coarse brown sand.  Some cyclists carried their bikes; I found that I needed to lean on my bike for support simply to keep moving through the thick sand.  By the end of the quarter-mile crossing, my shoes were filled with the stuff, and my lungs were burning.  As usual the wash strung out the bunch of riders into a broken line with one, two or three rider clumps.  I was at my physical limit at that point and just struggled to keep a wheel.

Heading south on the Old Nogales Highway the strung-out lines began to congeal again, but now into a single file group that began to work together a little.  A group of ten began to grow into a mass.  Up ahead I could see another group forming.  Some stronger riders came by me and took the lead, raising the pace from 21 back to 24.  By and by we caught a group and were again close to a hundred strong and five or six wide on the roadway.  We surged and slowed at speeds up the 30 miles per hour.  My breathing was labored but I didn’t feel I was out of my league, didn’t feel any possibility of being dropped like I often do during a criterium with my own age group.  In fact, I took a pull to bridge my section of the pack when a strong attack over an overpass created a gap.  I had no problem bringing us all back together, though I was definitely looking for recovery as we approached the right turn on Irvington that led up the first incline.  Around this time, I felt a tap on my chest.  It was David Bailey passing on my left.  “Man, you’ve been working,” I commented.

I was surprised that he had already caught us (it was about mile 27) for as I say, we had been hitting a torrid pace for the last ten miles or so, and the sections before that were not conducive to passing.  In other words, David had been extra fit and very aggressive right when he needed to.
Turning uphill on Escalante, I noticed my legs were already very tight.  Not a good sign.  I stayed with the crowd up the hill and by the time I got to the top, I was worrying about cramping.  Damn. What’s up with that?  Cramping in the first 30 miles?  I would have another 80 miles to ride.  What did I do wrong?  Not enough water?  Too many calories in the bottle?  My oatmeal that morning had not been very well cooked in the paper coffee cup I’d used and the old motel microwave.  Did that undercooked oatmeal soak up my water ration?

Already I began riding in protect mode up the next section of uphill.  A few people passed, but for the most part I was keeping up with traffic. 

About mile 35, just at the top of Freeman Road, where the course yields its first lovely downhill, my legs stopped working.  They hadn’t reached the state of total tetanizing, but pretty close.  I pulled to the side to let anyone behind me pass and stopped pedaling.  I needn’t have bothered, for I was already the last guy in the swarm.  I watched the pod glide ahead.  No one turned around.

Painlessly Alone

 And so I coasted a little and pedaled a little down the hill.  No longer needing to concentrate on the wheel in front of me, I sat up and looked at the spectators looking at me.  At the bottom of the hill, the traffic control was kind enough to stop traffic for just one rider.  Before the left turn onto Speedway Boulevard, I looked back up the hill to see if my pursuers were bearing down on me yet.  No sign of anybody.  Just an empty road.  Suddenly I felt like I was no longer in the Tour de Tucson.  Might was well just cruise now.  I’m not going to fight like a dog in no man’s land for another 70 miles.  My race is over.  No chance at platinum now.  I tried; I failed.  I pondered all these thoughts, but not with any desperation.  That was that. 

Again I came to an intersection where the volunteers blew whistles and raised their hands to guard me against the automobiles.  “Thank you,” I called to them, and kept rolling.  My legs were more comfortable now.  No imminent freeze ups in the thighs and calves.  So I just kept up a reasonable pace without strain.  I looked back.  Another giant swarm of riders was now visible.
My Gente to the Rescue

I took a right on Houghton Road. After another mile or so, the trailing group came up on me.  A bunch of them passed me, and I found a place in line.  My pace went up a couple of miles an hour, but right away, I noticed that the intensity level of this group was below the one that I had cramped up in.  In fact, compared to the skittish, surging character of the first group, this one was almost soporific.  Ah, my gente, I thought.  I can keep up with these guys to the end. 

I stayed relaxed all the way into mile 48 at the Sabino Canyon crossing.  Unlike Santa Cruz Wash, which is a wide open sand wash, Sabino Canyon is approached by a meandering dirt trail through a dusty wooded area.  Some parts of the trail are firm enough to ride. But many patches are very soft.  At the platinum meeting the Amazonian babe at the lectern admonished us to get off our bikes and hoof it through there.  But I tried to keep one foot in the pedal and use one foot for stability, like a scooter, through the soft parts.  My strategy was successful as I was able to clip back in halfway through the trail and ride to the actual dried creek bed where sand makes everyone get off. 

The hubbub there is always impressive.  Organizers have set up about 10 porta-potties; numerous volunteers man orange and banana tables, while others stand on both sides of the trail with one-gallon jugs and two-gallon containers of water.  The two-gallon containers are a bad idea because the spigot offers but a thin stream of water.

Riders scatter pell-mell here depending on their plan of action.  I sought a guy with a wide mouthed gallon jug.  “I got your bike,” he shouted, as I fumbled to open the top of my water bottle.  I had thrown away an empty bottle already and drunk two of the others, which I now refilled.  That meant I would have three more full bottles for the last 60 miles, or six total.  Incredibly, Fred had told me that he could complete the race on three water bottles.

I pushed my bike through the rest of the sandy crossing, up the embankment, clipped in and headed up hill nearly alone.  The off-road crossings split people up.  The next section includes a short but very steep incline lined with cheering, exuberant spectators.  Even with my 26 cog in the back, I labored up the hill.  At the top I passed a few riders and tried to keep a nice effort going down instead of yielding to the urge to rest. A couple of guys passed me.  I saw that we were a fairly evenly distributed line of riders quite a ways up.  Since my legs felt better but still not particularly powerful, I felt I had to ride tentatively.

Dog Day in Them Thar Hills

As soon as we turned uphill again on Snyder and then Sunrise, people were passing me.  Thus began the hilly section of the course.  Sunrise to Skyline to Ina and Oracle.  Rolling stretches of probably 4% hills of about a mile each.  Some of it must be downhill, but for some reason, it all seems up.  Nothing too demanding but it gets your attention and usually keeps cyclists single file and humble.  I got passed there when my legs tightened up again.  I basically felt weak and unable to ride aggressively.

Then the hills calmed down and I was once again riding in a group, where I took my place at the very back.  I stayed there for a good long time.  Just before we turned from Oracle onto Rancho Vistoso, I found that I could move up the group.  I took a turn at the front then dropped back four or five riders.
 Rancho Vistoso is a four lane boulevard with a planted median.  It’s at the highest part of the course to the north of Tucson.  We were strung out there again because of the climbing. I felt better because of the flat road and kept up a steady pace with a couple of people behind me.  Little by little our group grew with stronger riders coming from behind and weaker riders being overtaken.  Four miles of Rancho Vistoso is followed by about four miles of Moore, a slight downhill where we all took quiet turns with no one yelling like a maniac and nobody riding off the front. I’m writing this two weeks after the Tour, and now I realize that we had a fairly good group up there; everybody seemed to be on the same page.  No one was overwrought; it was a small group all keeping the same pace. I wish I had noted our rate of speed.  I still didn’t really think I was going to be platinum; I was just trying to ride as strong as I could, not cramp, and not spend more time than I needed to at the front. 
Born Again

I remember that I led the group around the left turn that is a prelude to the long lovely downhill of Tangerine Road.  Looking over my shoulder, I saw that my group had dropped back, so I let up a little.  Of course, then they came right by me.  That was the last time I took the front until we hit the bottom of Tangerine Road at the freeway seven miles later. I was surprised because there were four or five guys in front of me, and if I remember right, only two or three of them changed places at the front for the whole ride down.  We weren’t ripping the asphalt up, and that surprised me too.  Last year I grabbed the wheel of a guy and a gal on a tandem that hurtled along at 33-35 mph and wouldn’t give up the front position for a bribe.  So this year was a similar pattern.  When I get in front, I pull and then I move over.  Not these guys.  On a ship they would probably strap themselves to the tiller.  Never give an inch!  Don’t tread on me! Pull or die! 

Unlike last year, Tangerine Road in 2006 barely topped 33 mph on the downhill.  At the bottom, however, our lead guys were about stove in, for there I was at the front of the group as we crossed the railroad tracks and headed south east on the frontage road against the wind on bad pavement.  I was pedaling all of 14 mph for a bit at the end of my pull.  The group came by me and we naturally formed a double line rotation.  The group was still surprisingly small with only about 8 of us.  I took another pull.  I looked over my shoulder and saw two riders riding erratically at the back.  They both went down, and one began cursing. Somebody simply lost concentration at about 19 mph. 
Group Groping for a Leader

Our group seemed to find an identity again and we were working well.  I realized that I felt pretty damned good. We were up to 20 mph again as the road swung west again and slightly uphill.  Moments ago the wind was in our face; now it gently helped us along.  We turn a few turns at rotation, with the fading rider in the right lane shouting “clear.”  Just like last year, however, this felicitous synergy soon dissolved as riders didn’t come forward to take their turn.  Were they unable or unwilling?  Did this reveal something about their character that they would not offer the group their contribution out of a desire to conserve their energy, out of fear, or just a selfishness that comes natural to some people? Do they say, if I don’t do it, somebody else will. I wonder what goes on in those other minds of these strangers all around me.  I have no recollection of any of them, not their jersey colors, their bikes, nothing.

I know one thing; I had plenty of ganas left.  I wanted to go as fast as I could, for about now, with less than twenty miles away, I was again feeling that platinum was possible. My complete collapse at mile 30 seemed like a long-ago story, and I had re-entered the valiant cadre of real riders.  We tried to re-form.  Somebody shouted, “Come on, you guys, pull through!”  But this job fell to about four of us.  Then one young buck rode away and didn’t look back for a minute.  Oh well. Finally he realized that his efforts were futile, and he drifted back.  Just like last year, I pulled the group hard left on Lambert that leads uphill west of the rocky hillside over a saddle point.  The young buck came around me, but nobody else.  So I got on his wheel, and when he drifted right expecting the relief shift, he smiled when he saw it was me and said, “I guess it’s you and me.”  I nodded and put my head down for the rest of the climb and led the group to the saddle where some firefighter volunteers held out bottles of water.  Don’t mind if I do.  I snagged one from a young woman who filled her uniform nicely.  Wished I had thanked her.  Mr. Young Buck passed me again and now I drifted back. 

Semi-conscious on Silverbell

We were on Silverbell now, with 16 miles to go.  Our group now lapsed into that strange state of semi-consciousness that we all encounter on Silverbell.  The road heads southeast, trending slightly uphill with some very gentle undulations.  Magically, the groups coalesce into giant millipedes, two or three cyclists wide each pedaling zombielike at a much reduced cadence.  Fatigue, both mental and physical, has turned the body and mind into an automatic pedaling machine, and attention has compressed into a dull rotational dirge. 

But that’s not how I felt.  My legs did feel weak, but I wanted to go faster.  Now that I knew I was well stocked with water, I drank of the elixir liberally, way back in the pack.  Then I rolled up to the front and took another turn, just like on a training ride, about a minute.  I picked up the tempo at least one mile per hour to about 21.  Then I drifted back, and the tempo would again slow, like a drill motor with a dying battery.  Bullshit.  I went to the front again and pulled.  When I drifted back this time, a big guy, a guy big enough that you wouldn’t expect to see him this close to five hours, gave me a pat on the back.  I guess that just about made my day.

Third Wind? 

Around that time, four guys in yellow jerseys easily passed us and took their place at the front.  “Great,” I called out to no one. “Fresh horses.”  I go no response, no smiles, no nods, no amens or halleluyahs. For a time, the Mellow Yellows rode well.  I saw that their jerseys had Spanish on them.  When the pace again slackened, I went to the front alongside them and shouted, “Vamos, compas! Dale gas!”  When they said nothing, I become suspicious.  And when I picked up the pace at the front, I rode away from everybody.  If these guys had no gas left to give, it was over.  Well, that was fine, because once again, my heightened effort set my legs to cramping.  My ambition to be a hero was over too. 

I drifted back into the millipede, downshift and pedaled more slowly, more softly and drank down the water bottle given me by the firefighting princess. No more the crusader, I accepted my place in the matrix, dropped my head and didn’t look left or right in case someone might catch my eye and ask me for an effort.  Not really.  I was hoping for one last recovery. 
Mexicali Compadre Appears

Good news came when a familiar jersey passed me.  Hey Mexicali, I shouted to the green and red and white back.  ¿Quien eres?  He turned and I recognized Edgar Perea, whom we know as Garo.  “Hola Garo!  How are you?”  I stuck out my fist and he grabbed it.  He looked about as happy to see me as a San Diego Padre fan on a rainy day—in other words, morose.  But it wasn’t so.  He was just as tired as the rest of us.  Probably not one in fifty of us had actually ridden a full 109 miles nonstop as a training ride like we were riding today.  We were pedaling on fumes.  “¿Vamos bien por el platinium?” he asked.  “Are we in good shape for platinum?” By now, I knew we would be under five hours; that was why I was getting so motivated.  The only thing left to do was to better my time from last year.  “Si, Garo, vamos muy bien.”

To the Wire with Nothing in the Tank

Seeing Garo got me worked up again.  I realized that if I could work my way to the front of this swarm, I could save maybe up to half a minute over the stragglers.  So one more time, I moved forward.  There were about three miles left. It took me a while to find an opening in the heavy traffic so that I could “change lanes” and get to the left and pass people.  Unfortunately, once I got up to speed to pass about twenty folks, my legs cramped again.  Damn it!  I held my place as other folks had the same idea and passed me.  I spotted a woman in purple and black. She was a thickly muscled gal in her thirties who had passed me long ago on the hills of Ina and Oracle.  I was glad to see that I had caught her, and glad that she had done so well, for a time under five hours for a woman would put her in the top twenty female finishers. 

The group’s energy level rose like the hair on your head as we entered the commercial area of that part of Tucson.  Cones in the road meant we were close to the finish and the danger level once again spiked. I gave up any idea of advancing in the pack and tried to be on high alert for weaving riders or falling cones.  Sure enough, a cone fell in front of me but I missed it.  We swung left onto Congress with one mile to go.  Speeds were now back to 24 miles per hour with riders intent on finishing at top speed.  I stayed on Garo’s wheel even as we turned right onto Granada.  Miss Purple was just in front of him. 

A few spectators clapped and cheered as we crossed the finish line and coast to a stop amid the throng.  Garo and I shook hands and embraced.  Although he is a very strong rider, this was his first platinum finish after a few tries.  How coincidental that we who had ridden together in the Valley would finish in exactly the same time. 4:52:33.
Probably 60 riders from my group had finished ahead of me, completely filling one of the chutes.  The volunteers got panicky as we backed up.  I sized up the situation and diverted into the other chute, which was empty.  “Don’t worry,” shouted a kind lady.  “You’re times were already taken.”  I knew that.  I clipped back in and pedaled to the end of the chute, dismounted and expertly slipped off my timing chip and handed it to the Boy Scout at the end.

Jorge the Road Warrior

In two shakes Angie was there to greet me and take my photo.  Jorge Arredondo from Mexciali suddenly appeared.  He reported his time of 4:32 with quiet satisfaction.  I was apoplectic.  “4:32!” I shouted.  I think he was too stunned to speak. Later he learned that his true time was 4:42, which still put him as the top finisher for the Imperial and Mexicali Valleys.  Shortly afterwards, Joel Hernandez said hello; Garo reappeared with another fellow from Mexicali whom I didn’t know.  Again, how strange that we would all see each other with no effort amid hundreds of riders and spectators.  Angie took a picture, and then we went off to the results area to find Todd and Fred.

Four Musketeers Debrief Their Disappointments

Todd was there already.  At the first sign of him, I could tell he wasn’t happy.  A crash with 3 miles to go foiled his plans of finishing at the front of his group.  But even with a severe impact to his left hip and road rash on both arms and shoulders, he lost just three minutes to Jorge, David Bailey, and Joel Hernandez’ group and finished in 4:45.  “No Mas” was the title of Todd’s Tucson narrative, a result of his double disappointment.  Aside from his homestretch crash, Todd had tried to bridge a gap early in the race and failed.  Like me, he had to recover during the middle section of the course.  Unlike me, he was the victim of circumstance and had gotten gapped by a faster group when he had to slow for a fallen rider.  Despite a ten minute sprint to regain the fast guys, he couldn’t bridge.

As Todd and I commiserated at the results board, Fred and Mike Thompson arrived.  Mike, a great hill climber from S.D., hadn’t trained much, and found he just wasn’t in a good position for platinum.  He missed it by four minutes.  Fred joined our morose debriefing with his tale of being stuck in an uncooperative group.  “I pulled these guys for about 40 miles,” he muttered.  The result of his group’s recalcitrance: 5:09, another tough day for our man Road Tuna Fred.
Cool down, Rub down, Melt down.

We went our separate ways.  Angie and I got back to the Inn Suites, where a hot bath and last night’s leftovers beckoned.  Salad and pasta for the second time tasted mighty good.  Then it was off to the Jacuzzi, where I hoped to trade stories of battle with other veterans of the campaign.  I wasn’t disappointed. 

Jacuzzi Stories

Joe, a suave looking 50+ from LA, related that his only sub-five hour ride had been in 1983, a year before they instituted the platinum classification.  He’d lost 30 pounds since January and had pulled down a 5:30.  The glint in his eyes told me that 23 years since his first El Tour, he was on his way back to the knife edge of ambition. 

Dan, a wiry 46-year old, didn’t mind repeating his time to anyone who asked:  4:41:55–ten minutes faster than his previous best.  Joining us in the spa was the coach of a hockey team from Tennessee and an innocent bystander, both of whom sort of listened to the talk of Arnie Baker, Landis, cramping, and race dynamics.  Dan also related that he had fought through cramps and was saved by a little white pill, which turned out to be the very familiar E-Caps product that Fred and I eat like candy to no avail.

 I told Dan, “But cramps basically result from overexertion,” my point being that water and pills, vitamins, electrolytes won’t prevent or cure them.  You ride beyond your muscle capacity and they freeze up.  Training at race effort must be the only solution. He demurred, admitting that overexertion causes cramps (duh), but the magic pills were the answer.

Later I brought up the subject with Tony Darr.  His answer: “Motor pacing. You’ve got to get your legs going at race speed.”  And so began a Tony pep talk on the great team we’re going to have next year, how Monty has designed a jersey for us and will provide helmets, glasses, matching shorts, maybe shoes, even.  Sure Tony. And we’ll have massages daily, with the crew washing and adjusting our bikes while we lay in bed with our legs elevated. Sure. Order me a groupie, would you. Christine Armstrong will do.  I hear she’s free right now.Just give me a Jacuzzi and a few like-minded middle-aged maniacs to talk to.  That’s enough for me.

Slowing to a Crawl

Our Tucson stay ended pacifically.  Saturday afternoon Angie and I drove up the hill under the giant A cemented in place about 80 years ago.  We took in the panorama of the great city of Tucson, lulled into sleepy inaction by Mexican music from families lolling nearby.  The lights of the convention center reminded me of the excitement at the Expo the night before and the anticipation that very morning: race day at the Tour de Tucson.  In the distance, the low tan hills dotted with saguaro and sage made for an expansive tableau.  I love the openness of the desert. 

From there we quietly, slowly drove to El Torero, a family Mexican restaurant in Old Tucson, stuck in an ancient two story building at the back of a dirt parking lot.  El Torero had been serving food since 1956, with some of the original waitresses still carrying trays.  We noticed right away that this was not a cycling crowd.  The building, servers, and patrons made for an Imperial Valley ambiance. Thick men in flannel shirts and jeans, a Mexican family with the chubby daughter, Mom and Dad with Grandma and the college going son—it was hometown at El Torero.

Next morning at the Inn Suites breakfast buffet, the contrast couldn’t have been greater.  Lean, sharp-eyed cyclists wearing their trophy t-shirts from this year’s Tour and other events lined up for the fruit and the waffles. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

All of this makes me very reflective about this big chunk of my life.  Training for the Tucson effort is more than just riding four days a week.  It also means avoiding caffeine so that when I use it, I get a performance boost.  It means conscientiously doing my stretches and strength exercises for the back and arms, taking my vitamins and glucosamine for the hip and knees, keeping the pull-ups going for upper body strength, not drinking wine or beer with friends prior to a big training session or a race.  All of this is the life of a serious athlete.  It’s keeping the center tightly held together.  But it’s a healthy lifestyle–one that goes against the grain of the mainstream in this country.  In today’s America, it seems most natural for a man my age: thick and solid, not easy to move.  We are becoming a nation of squat, low-speed, high torque bulls.  Powerful but low to the ground and unyielding. 

Meanwhile, we cyclists seek the trim, svelte, quick-response look, ready to react, accelerate, and pounce on every opportunity. Or perhaps we do so just in our fantasy world, which lives on the bike. 
 Even after a training ride, I ponder my reactions to events.  When Benjamin attacks a mile from the finish, why do I chase?  Don’t I know he will fade in another 200 meters, and I will catch him all the same at my steady pace?  Why did I let up after the hill and lose a gap of 20 yards?  I need to teach myself to hold that effort, keep the faith, struggle on.  Do I appear to be making too much of this simple activity of big boys riding bikes?  Probably so, but just as card players say that one plays a poker game the way one approaches life, the same goes for cycling.  Perhaps more so.  It’s a marvelously rich allegory, or metaphor let’s say, for the way we conduct our lives.  Or the way we would conduct our lives if we could only throw ourselves into the business of living as we throw ourselves into the somewhat make-believe world of cycling.

No Full Time Pack Fillers Allowed

I wonder about the guys I rode with those last 20 miles of El Tour de Tucson.  I wonder about the slackers in Fred’s group, who, even though they stood an excellence chance of being platinum riders, didn’t make the individual and collective decision to test their limits, to launch off full tilt boogie for their shot at what had to be their goal. What do they do for a living?  Are they living like they ride, or escaping their pressurized life on a bike?
Just being in the race, in the hunt for a sub 5-hour 109-mile bike ride shows that they had the right stuff.  They had already set themselves apart from the ordinary humanity who live and die by the TV remote control.  Yet they couldn’t take the logical next step and take the risk of trying too hard and failing.

If I can ride a sub 5-hour 109-mile event through a cooperative effort with complete strangers, if I can communicate with these strangers and rotate my turn through a leadership role, well then I can also do the same thing in any social venue.  Start a business, run for office, write a book, lead a community organization.  Lead means knowing what the pack will do, knowing how to shepherd the flock as the flock helps shepherd you.  Another metaphor from cycling.  But the point is that the individual discipline and constant effort that anybody puts in on an event like El Tour and the tacit cooperation that allows riders in the 40s and 50s to average 22-23 miles per hour are the same ingredients for success in any endeavor.

Unlike Tony Darr, I don’t see cycling as such a consuming activity on its own merits.  Being part of a racing team and maybe winning a race or two is exciting, sure.  The adrenaline on the starting line is a powerful stimulant.  The strategy during the race and the outcome can keep one’s mind in gear for weeks puzzling over what could have been. But when it comes right down to it, racing feeds the child in all of us.  The man or woman in us desires something more.  There’s that social and moral imperative that I certainly feel: one must make a difference.

And we can make a difference.  Somewhere.  I’ve never wanted to be an administrator at IVC for the very reason that I didn’t feel that I could make a difference.  The constraints of the bureaucracy, I’ve always felt, would reduce who I was to just the place I occupied.  That may not be true, but that’s how I’ve felt.  John Anderson told me he ran for Superintendent of Schools for the County because he wanted to make a difference.  Again, I wouldn’t feel that way.  But there are other places to make a difference, and I think it’s up to all of us to apportion a part of our time, at least to that kind of goal. 

Last weekend I climbed our local Mt. Signal, an iconic peak rising 2500 feet from the desert floor.  It was my 15th ascent.  I’ve become sort of the hometown expert on this mountain.  Though it’s not so high, it’s nothing but a pile of loose gravel, pebbles, and boulders that keeps footing tricky and quite rugged.  For most folks climbing it is a one off event.  But over my many trips up, I’ve noticed that the mountain keeps shrinking on me.  What once was an imposing, confusing set of climbing options has become an integrated whole in my mind.  I’ve memorized most of the mountain, at least on the northern approach, and analyzed that whole into sections that each I see now to be just short, easy transits.  Though I still require four full days for my quads to return to normal, it’s not painful.  Climbing Mt. Signal is like El Tour de Tucson in that after facing both a few times, they come into sharper focus and become more doable. 

My personal goal for El Tour?  Did I mention that? Last year I finished 28th in my age group—way down the list from the front runners among the 50+ set.  In my idle fantasies, I hoped to rise into the top 15.  When I cramped up, I abandoned that dream, but that didn’t stop me from counting off the + symbols on the results page that indicated 50+.  After all, I did ride more than a minute faster than the year before.  Did I reach 25th place after all?  No luck there.  I actually dropped down to 34th place way, way behind Wayne Stetina, age 52, who came in 17th overall in 4:19:06 and averaged 25.6 miles per hour.  But I can take solace that 8 of those 50+ riders finished less than a minute in front of me.  Motor pacing…  Maybe Tony has something there.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Climbing Mount Signal





Mount Signal (La Centinela) is the Mexican side of the border of Imperial Valley, California. The first photo was taken from my backyard.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Words Cannot Express


During the Winter session 2006 I taught a night class (five nights per week) which ended just before the night-shift janitor entered my office to empty my trash. On several occasions after class I would linger in my office to straighten up my desk and collect my thoughts. Sometimes the janitor would come in and we would exchange hellos and a few pleasantries. I noticed something right away about this janitor. He was very polite, wore a smile, and seemed happy. I noticed some Christian book on his janitorial cart and figured he was religious.

One evening we got to talking. He seemed to move the conversation toward religion and when he sensed that I was not afraid to talk about religion he started telling me more and more and more. He stood in my office in front of the door and I stood facing him and facing the door. He told me that he liked to listen to tapes about religion. He worked all night every night while listening to his religious tapes. During breaks he would read his religious book. I asked him if he belonged to a church and he explained that he doesn’t go to church anymore because he hasn’t learned anything there in a long time and the pastor doesn’t want to implement his ideas. He complained that some people can attend church their whole lives but never be filled with the spirit of God. They confuse attending church with communing with God. He told me that he has a ministry and that he teaches some people about the bible for free. I think he would have liked to add me to his ministry.

As the janitor talked about the Spirit in his life he got just a bit emotional and his lip quivered a little as he spoke. I think his pulse quickened as he started to tell me about all the many wonderful things that the Spirit has done for him in his life. He expressed gratitude. And he began to tell me all the things that he had learned and the controversies that he understands. He told me about the second coming of Jesus Christ, the rapture, the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Book of Revelation, the Spirit, the Devil, spiritual powers in high places, and more. He seemed to bounce around from topic to topic and tell me just a sentence or two about each point that he wanted to make. Each point that he made reminded him about another point, etc. He couldn't find the words to express what he wanted to say. His zeal surpassed his rationality.

As I stood there listening, I knew that he was on a roll and that I was not going to be able to get out of my office until he ran out of things to say. So I quit talking and just listened. My mind disengaged a little from the conversation and I started feeling déjà vu. Where had I experienced this before? Who has spoken like this before?

I realized that I had spoken like this before, also my Dad. I have noticed this excited, flitting, enthusiastic speech on internet religious forums, at church, on my mission. This manner of speech is invoked when there is a strong desire to share feelings, help others, persuade others, and teach what one has learned.

As I continued listening to the janitor I saw myself a long time ago. I understood his logic and premises. I recognized where he lacked background. I saw his blind spots. I viewed him in perspective. I comprehended him. I could read everything he said like signs on a map. I knew where he had been and where he is going. I knew because I had already been there.

I’m sure there are people that can read me the same way, but less and less each day.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Tour de Tucson 2005


[The red dew rag I was wearing was a trendy idea to prevent one's sweat from flying into the faces of riders who are riding just behind. I am not specifically trying to be cool here.]


Tour de Tucson
November 19, 2005

I did it! I made Platinum.

The feeling of going platinum in the Tour de Tucson seems sweeter than finishing the Ironman for a number of reasons: 1) I had friends--Fred Fischer, Brian McNeece, and Kenny Caldera--that were pursuing the same goal, 2) I didn’t feel sick afterward, and 3) I had a definite time goal. Going platinum means finishing the 108 mile course in less than five hours, including crossing two surprisingly long dry river beds on foot. The Tour de Tucson has become a famous race in the Southwest and attracts cyclists from distant states. The guy who parked next to us on race morning flew in from New Jersey. The guy next to me at the start line flew in from Washington. Of course the majority come from Arizona.

Floyd Landis (of Tour de France fame, and Phonak team leader) was the celebrity competitor. He beat me by twenty minutes because I started behind a few hundred riders, he established himself in a better group, and I got stuck behind a train (true). Otherwise he would have beaten me by a few minutes less. In reality I couldn’t hope to match Floyd.


Lance and Floyd

Last winter or spring, Fred and I rode our bikes to Jacumba and stopped at the gas station for refreshments. As we were tinkering around our bikes and the picnic tables on the side of the gas station a highway patrol officer slowly pulled up close to me. I turned and looked into his vehicle and he said, “I was just checking. You looked like Lance Armstrong.” Instead of responding to the officer I immediately turned to Fred. “Fred did you hear this? For the record, did you hear this?” Fred and I both laughed and I think Fred said something about the size of my head.

Fred and I had a good laugh and Fred kept calling me “Lance” as we started riding home. Just outside of Jacumba we approached the border checkpoint that we had just recently passed going the other way. We were riding slowly when a Border Patrol agent stood up and walked to the rode. I looked at his straight face and said, “You're not going to stop us are you?” He said that he had to stop everybody. So I jokingly said, “Hi, my name is Lance and this if “Floyd” (as in Floyd Landis, Lance’s former teammate). I looked at Fred and smiled big. Apparently this Border Patrol agent new less about cycling than the Highway Patrolman at the gas station. He didn’t catch my joke and said “Hi, Lance. Hi, Floyd. Nice to meet you.”

I could imagine the officer’s colleagues in the trailer ask, “Who were those guys?”
“Lance and Floyd? Don’t you know that they are famous cyclists? You saw Lance and Floyd?”

Every now and then Fred and I use those nicknames to express affection and to trigger a happy memory that we shared on the bike.


Eras

Fred has been pursuing Platinum for several years without consistent training partners for long rides. Brian has made two previous attempts. I raced the Tour de Tucson last year but did not make platinum. But this year was going to be different. We had trained harder, and together. We were all ready to finish under five hours.

During the drive to Tucson I was trying to describe to Pam a feeling that I was having. I said, “What if all three of us get platinum this year? Then that could be the end of this era of our lives and our friendship (referring to Fred and Brian).” I told her that while I would always be very happy to bump into Brian or Fred on the IVC campus and to ride with them in group rides, I knew that if we all achieved platinum that the intensity of our association would naturally diminish. Perhaps that is why I said to Fred a week before the tour, “If you or Brian for some strange reason do not make platinum, and I do, then I will be willing to go on long rides with you next year if you choose to take it on again.”

Then I started talking about my friendship with Tom Seymour and how Tom got me into marathoning, and how we trained so much together, shared our goals with each other, and raced in the same races. Our lives were enmeshed together in a way that was not planned, not forced, but just naturally grew together and then apart as we both tired of marathoning (at least in the short run) and now Tom is moving to the Napa Valley. I will always have fond memories of Tom and our time together. Tom and I will be lifelong friends but our “era” is ending.


Training

Wednesday and Friday mornings were group rides. Wednesday was a 25 mile tempo ride. Fridays were long rides. Other days were solo rides, usually on the Lemond Revmaster. My training log shows the details of my training.

I can’t say that I gave 100% because I didn’t. I’ll explain. I set a goal, platinum, five hours. It was my goal. I wanted it. I budgeted a part of my life to achieving that goal. Could I have budgeted more of my life? Yes. But my goal was not to maximize the amount of my life that I spent training for my goal. My goal was to achieve platinum by training a budgeted amount of time.

I know there are athletes who are more talented than I am that are slower than I am. Conversely, I know that there are athletes who are less talented than I am that are faster than I am. I have no delusions about my greatness. My ego impels me to achieve but my rationality helps me to maintain a realistic perspective.

I don’t really care about being the “best.” But I would like it to be said of me by amateur cyclists, “Todd was a strong rider.” Also, “He did his homework.”


Crashing

I bought a DVD called Road Cycling’s Greatest Crashes, hosted by Bob Roll which I watched many times while riding my Revmaster. I saw so many bike crashes that I started to think about the causes of bike crashes and how to avoid them. Recently Kenny and Brian both went down (crashed) in a race in Mexico for no fault of their own. I almost went down. Early in the Tour de Tucson we saw Edgar Alarcon (from Mexicali) sprawled out on the asphalt at around mile 30 something. I heard another rider go down. I saw water bottles falling out of holders and checked my own (my rear bottles were rubber-banded in place). All of this had a big influence on the way I rode in the race.


Prerace

Pam and I arrived in Tucson late Thursday night. On Friday we had breakfast at the International House of Pancakes before going to the race expo. Our most exciting purchase at the expo was a black cycling jersey with white spider webs and a skull and crossbones on the front and back. A jersey with attitude! I had to have it to match my black bike, black shorts, black arm warmers, and black knee warmers. I had never worn so much black in all my life. Somehow it seemed appropriate for all the carnage I was going to inflict during the race. (Can you sense my race attitude?) We also purchased a pair of low-cut bike socks with vultures on the ankles (Also befitting my attitude). Pam said I’ve never seen you like this. (I am normally oblivious to fashion.) Probably no one ever saw the vultures but they were a part of me.

After leaving the expo we tried to drive the course but became frustrated and tired due to the river crossings, errors in the graphical map, and Tucson traffic. The high note of our day was finding this great bread restaurant where we had outrageously good sandwiches with cucumbers, red onions, hummus, and tomatoes. The bread was chewy sour dough with poppy seeds. Mmmm, good! We talked about it for two days. Pam’s sandwich included turkey which she shared with me.

Next, we strolled over to the bookstore called “Bookman's” and we were pleasantly surprised that what looked like a Barnes-n-Noble was full of used books. We wished we had four more hours to peruse books but we had to get going. Pam bought a few paperbacks.

We checked in to the Riverpark Inn, a half mile from the start line. Brian called and wished me well.

I prepared my six water bottles. In four of the bottles I used a mix of Accelerade and Sustained Energy for about 300 calories each. Two bottles contained only water. I ran out of fluids at about mile 93. I waited a full half hour into the race before starting to drink fluids. I know from experience that too little fluid causes weakness but too much urine in the bladder can be very uncomfortable. Dwight, the guy from New Jersey, asked me after the race what my time was because he said he was with me on Silverbell (the last 15 miles) but he had to stop to urinate. He figured he would have finished with me and wanted to calculate how much time he had lost. Over three minutes.

My riding style is high cadence and, according to Chris Carmichael, high cadence burns more calories but produces less lactic acid. It is easier to “Bonk” with this style as glycogen reserves are depleted faster. I didn’t use any gel packs but carried three. I felt my intake was perfect, for me. I wouldn’t change a thing!

I woke up at 3:19 a.m. before the alarm. I rode my bike to the start line at 3:45 a.m. only to find that some riders had already arrived by 2:30 a.m. I wanted to be sure to put my bike in position just behind the marked off area that is reserved for the platinum riders who get to start at the front without having to arrive early.

Brian and Fred arrived sometime around 4:30 a.m. and were about four bike lengths behind me. Brian handed me a small tube of electrolytes and caffeine to counter any cramping that I might experience (Last year Brian and I both had cramps). I gave Fred and Brian a hand warmer that I got from Big Five. Brian wasn’t sure he needed it but Fred was immediately sure that he would hold it for Brian. Fred put them in his legs and told Brian that he could have his back anytime. It didn’t take long before both Fred and Brian looked cold. Then Pam arrived and parked our car near the start line. Pam gave old blankets to Fred and Brian who wrapped themselves up in them without any concern for style. At least they were warm. I was well dressed; I could have gone skiing in what I was wearing. I didn’t want to burn any extra calories trying to stay warm and I knew that when I started racing I would feel cold. After a while I went to sit in the car with Pam while Fred and Brian sat in Kenny’s truck.

As race time approached I noticed many platinum riders were warming up on trainers next to their cars. Pam asked if I was going to warm up on my Lemond Revmaster that I brought. I was having second thoughts about warming up for such a long race but I decided to warm up a little. I got my heart rate up to 120-125 beats per minute for about 13 minutes and chatted with the guy from the next car. He had flown in from New Jersey just to race. I suppose the biggest benefit of the little warm-up was to settle my nerves.

At the start line I got distracted by talking with the guy next to me who flew in from Washington. I didn’t have my cyclocomputer ready to go when the race started. Shoot! I was trying to move up to the front while trying to start my cyclocomputer. I kept fumbling around. Shoot! I darted through openings. I asked someone how fast we were going. “Twenty seven,” he said. A few miles later when I perceived that we were slowing I asked someone else. “Twenty five,” he said. “Okay, I’m on pace but what am I going to do if I can’t read my cadence or miles per hour,” I thought. No sooner than the race started than I had my first problem. Going platinum requires having a near perfect race. Then I thought that I would just have to get to the front and trust the pace of the better platinum riders. (I figured that not all the platinum riders would absolutely achieve platinum again on this day.) I quit looking at my cyclocomputer and just concentrated on moving up.

Crossing the Santa Cruz Canyon was slow and dusty. There was no place on the edge to pass anyone. Shoot!

On the road again, I passed as many riders as possible. I was doing fine and then saw the railroad crossing barriers come down. I looked North to see a train approaching. Some of the riders got through then others stopped. I had gotten to the railroad crossing at the worst possible time. I was happy that the train was moving swiftly. Kenny said, “Todd.” I looked to my right and saw Kenny for the first time. He was contorting his face in anguish because of the delay. I contorted mine to express the same sentiment. By the time the train passed a sea of riders had come to a stop.

While I waited for the train to pass I fixed my cyclocomputer. Hooray. Apparently I had to make a complete stop before I could get it into the mode I needed.

When we resumed riding the pace was noticeably slower. A few miles later Kenny, fiery as usual, tried to motivate the group by taking the lead and yelling out, “We’ve got to work.” Nobody really responded. Then four of us leaders missed our right turn onto Los Reales Road. Kenny cursed. We swung around and made our way back to the front in what seemed like an instant. I told Kenny, “It is impossible to catch the group ahead. There are many good platinum riders right here. We should just stay to the front and never get dropped and we’ll make platinum.” Kenny seemed to agree.

By riding closer to the front a rider gets thrust into having to take an occasional turn “pulling” and even when drafting toward the front one’s heart beats faster than those riders who settle in further back. My strategy was to stay to the front, even if that meant working harder, for two reasons: 1) I felt safer there, and 2) If a group ever tried to break away I wanted to go with them. However, there were too many strong riders for any small group to break away off the front.

As we Approached Sabino Canyon I figured that I would slow down and prepare to stop. I almost got run over as riders raced down the narrow side street that leads to the canyon entrance. As we left the paved road some rider about two bikes back yelled out like a coach, “Stay on your bikes. You can ride this road. Keep your feet in your pedals. Keep going. Don’t dismount. Don’t stop.” He was actually very helpful because if one rider stopped then that would probably cause all the rest of the riders to dismount and run. Once the momentum is lost it would be very difficult to start riding again in the gravel.

Many people stopped to get water in Sabino Canyon. They got left behind. Getting through Sabino Canyon and the steep hills that followed caused many riders to fall behind. I concentrated on not getting dropped by even a small group. The hill after the canyon was the steepest of the race. I handled it without my heart racing then tried to settle back into a rhythm.

I was worried about the climb up Oracle Rd. and Rancho Vistoso Blvd. I got dropped there last year but not this year. I felt strong. I felt that every time we went uphill I could ride off the front if I wanted. I still cannot figure out why I don’t feel that same sensation while riding on the flat. At 192 pounds I am not light enough to be a true climber.

My max speed for the day was over 38 miles per hour. We could have gone faster but I guess we were being safe. Ha! The second stint on Houghton Road and Tangerine Road were the fastest segments of the day.

Rounding the turn onto Lambert the photographer snapped my picture just before I was about to pull. Evidence. The homestretch was fourteen miles of slight incline on Silverbell Rd. Platinum was in the bag. We road at 21.5+ miles per hour until about four miles before the finish line. Two riders tried to break away. They were caught fairly quickly but all those riders who had never seen the front of the pack got restless and started to surge. Riders in the front converged with riders from the back like a collapsing accordian. Some yelled out warnings. Others darted for safety in holes that barely existed.

My goal for the day had already been met. But now I faced something that I hadn’t anticipated, a massive group finish. In the Tour de France everyone in a group that finishes together gets the same time, thus, reducing the chances of a reckless free-for-all mass sprint to the finish. Not so in Tucson.

I looked for a safe place to ride. A rider pulled up beside me and said, “I just wanted to say thank you for working so hard and helping the group ride faster. I saw you in front busting your ass plenty.” “Thanks,” I said, and I meant it. “But now I’m just looking for a safe place to ride.”

I saw a rider go down hard on the right side.

I cruised across the finish line and saw Pam on the right. I handed her my bike over the barricade and she handed me my tennis shoes. I walked through the finish-line shoot and got my medal. I did it.


Kenny, Brian, and Fred

I hadn’t seen Kenny for 55 miles then I saw him in the finish area. I didn’t know where he was. He told me that he had been following me. He asked me if I had seen him pass me. I said, “No.” He told me that he didn’t want me to see him pass. The euphoria of achieving platinum was like a truth serum and Kenny told me everything he was thinking. He said he watched me climb the hills and that I looked strong. Then he mentioned that he is turning 50 in December (I am turning 44). I looked at him and said, “You da man!” Kenny looked at me and we high-fived each other in an act of mutual respect. Kenny has long been a very strong and competitive rider and a benchmark for my own progress.

Then I saw Brian on the other side of the refreshment area. “Did you make platinum,” I asked. He gave me the nod. “Great. Have you seen Fred,” I asked. He hadn’t. Brian came around and we talked some more. Brian also solidly made platinum.

Finally we saw Fred but he didn’t make it. He told us that he got a flat. My heart sank. Fred was fit enough to be platinum but in a race like this there is no margin for any problems. I knew that if it were I that had gotten a flat I would have felt sick inside. I felt sick for Fred and thought about him frequently for a long time. Fred tried to shrug it off and he mentioned the comment that I made a week ago about riding with him next year if he didn’t make platinum. I said, “If you chose to take it on again.” We’ll see if Fred really wants to take on the Tour de Tucson again. It’s a shame that he has to wait a year before trying again because he is platinum-fit right now. Our training rides together have proven his fitness beyond question.


Afterthoughts

During the drive home I was still very excited and chatty. Pam seemed excited too. She wanted me to come back next year and romp everybody. That sounded unusual. It was too early for me to think about next year.

I was glad Pam was there again. In some ways life gets better as the babies get older.

When I bought my Trek 5000 last summer I had two goals, finish Ironman Arizona in a respectable time and achieve platinum at the Tour de Tucson.

Check. Check.

Now what?

Sometimes I think it would be wise to exercise more for health than for athleticism.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Why I Suffer from Cognitive Dissonance



The artwork on this book by an LDS religion professor with a PhD degree typifies why I suffer cognitive dissonance. The author’s logic in the book is just as bizarre as the artist’s conception. If this lunacy were not so common I wouldn't let it bother me. Enough said.

[Post update on April 15, 2011. I mean no offense to this author. The significance of this book and cover to me is that when I was reading this book, hot off the press, I became conscious of the fact that this "story" that I had been studying for so many years (a favorite of mine) had too many loose ends for me and I literally threw the book hard against my bed. I surprised myself by my somewhat violent action, but it became clear to me that there was some deep dissatisfaction in my subconscious.]

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Ironman Arizona 2005








Ironman Arizona
Swim 2.4 Bike 112 Run 26.2
April 9, 2005
11:42:47

Why Ironman?
Why does someone want to climb a big mountain? Because it’s there. I can’t explain why I would do an Ironman except to say that it is in my blood. Back in high school in the late 70’s I heard of a new athletic competition called triathlon. I don’t remember where I heard of it but I do remember swimming 100 laps in my home pool, then riding my bike around Carlsbad before jogging to the beach and back 1.8 miles.

A few years ago I bought a book at Barnes and Noble that caught my eye, Becoming an Ironman. The book included the experiences of many different athletes who had done the Ironman. I bought it because I was intrigued, much like I might buy a book about the adventures of climbing Mount Everest. At this point it was only a fantasy to do an Ironman. Over the next few years I would occasionally happen upon Becoming an Ironman in my bookshelf and reread some of the stories. I dreamed of doing an Ironman but each time I would put the book back after deciding that my life couldn’t handle Ironman right now.

In the summer of 2004, while feeling a bit of a void (perhaps mild depression) in my life, and while surfing the internet, I happened upon the inaugural Ironman Arizona website. Registration was taking place and filling fast. My heart raced at the thought of entering. I called Pam on the phone to hear what she thought of my entering the race. She said something like “Do what you have to do.” I still didn’t sign up. I slept on it. The next day I signed up and it’s a good thing that I did because very soon afterward the race was full.


The Training Plan
First, I bought a bike, a TREK 5000. Then I bought a stationary training bike, a LeMond Revmaster and a wetsuit. I was already running three days a week with Tom Seymour and sometimes Pablo Mares. I started riding Friday mornings with a group of guys loosely known as the Velo Club. My thigh muscles were thinner in the beginning and I had a hard time keeping up with Brian McNeece and Fred Fischer, two of my more frequent riding friends. They were good and I was lucky just to stay with them. I loved those training rides out to Ocotillo and beyond.

I raced in the SOMA Half Ironman, Tour de Tucson, Borrego to the Sea, Tour de Palm Springs, and Ironman California (Half-Ironman) in preparation for the big race. During February it rained for three weekends in a row and I rode hard 3-hour training rides indoors on my Revmaster while watching my various cycling DVDs.

Finding a place to swim was without a doubt the biggest obstacle in my training. I swam at IVC in the summer and early fall of 2004. I am grateful to Toni Pfister who helped me to find pool time during the fall. For about 2 months in the winter I couldn’t find anywhere to swim. I was discouraged about that and for 2 days I considered dropping out of Ironman Arizona. Then I got a community access pass to use the small pool (25 yards but no lanes, the large pool was closed for the winter) at the El Centro Naval Air Base. I was happy again but this arrangement was not optimal, as I could not always depend on being able to swim. Sometimes the pool was closed due to weather, broken heater, or special events; however, the pool people were always very friendly. One day, after not swimming for two weeks during the peak period, I went to Mexicali and found a pool to swim in then waited in a long line to cross back over the border. They were very nice in Mexicali but it was a big effort that I didn’t want to do three times a week.

I went to the County of Imperial to see if I could swim in Sunbeam Lake or Weist Lake. They told me it was illegal…I told them that I would use a buoyant wetsuit… They looked at me with sympathetic eyes and said, “I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.” In my frustration I said, “This is earth and any animal can get in that water except a human. Something doesn’t seem right.” I tried to contain my annoyance and departed.

I trained for about nine months in preparation for Ironman Arizona but I only started working out like a madman 13 weeks before the race. I call this my peak period.

Two weeks before Ironman Arizona I did an open-water swim with Tom Seymour at La Jolla Cove. That was a great day in my life. We brought our families and ate good food. The weather was perfect. The water was clear. My body was strong and we had a great 2-mile swim. Days like that are not easily reproducible. Not only was the world around me wonderful but also inside my head was bliss (It’s wonderful to be in peak condition, too bad it can’t ever last).

I definitely under trained the run. I relied on the crossover effect of all my cycling. I was beginning to feel overuse injuries in both of my Achilles tendons so I backed off my running.

I kept saying to myself “Mark Allen said it’s better to be 20% under trained than 5% over trained.”

I kept a training log, like I always do, which shows the day-to-day workouts.

Prerace
Pam and I rented a car and left home on Thursday at 6:00 pm. We talked and listened to CDs. Pam’s every act throughout the next few days was completely selfless, cooperative, and loving. I appreciated her patience for enduring all the months of training and my one track mind.

Friday morning we ate breakfast in the Hawthorn Suites where we saw other athletes, some semi dressed for competition. I told Pam that all the athletes who were playing dress-up the day before were not a threat to me. She said something like, “Be nice.”

We drove part of the bike course before going to the expo. At the expo we purchased some royal blue tri shorts, miracle glide, a race number belt, socks, reflective tape, tape, and a power bar. We also bought a quick-wicking Ironman Arizona shirt that I am going to save for a future marathon race like a secret weapon. I always like to have some new piece of costume for race day to help me feel good. (Usually I just buy a pair of socks.) All little children know this secret.

In the expo I saw my Mexicali friends that I sometimes see training on Highway 98 on the way to Ocotillo or Jacumba. We stopped and talked with Francisco Santacruz and Francisco Gonzalez. These two Francisco’s have lead parallel lives to mine for the last eight months, including training on the same roads and competing in the same races.

We checked in my bike, looked at the water in Tempe Town Lake, and checked out the booths. We left the expo to find lunch at a hole-in-the-wall Chinese place that I knew about. I had salmon and steamed rice with vegetables. Then we returned to the expo for the mandatory meeting at 3:00 pm. Pam seemed awestruck by the whole scene. She kept asking me if I was nervous or scared and she kept saying, “I’m glad it’s you and not me.” I told her that I was a little nervous and a little scared but that I am ready and I express my apprehensions by becoming serious, not panicking.

After a quick trip to Borders Books and then IHOP, we went back to the hotel. We repacked everything and I rehearsed in my mind all that I needed to do the next day. Pam massaged my legs and I tried to sleep.

I got up 15 minutes before the 3:30 wake up call. My previous subdued and serious demeanor were soon taken over by my smiling, chatty, hyper self which meant that I was no longer preparing for a race; I was in race mode. Once I got Pam out the door I told her we could move at a relaxed pace. We were on schedule. We found a great parking spot and athletes were already arriving. Pam took a few pictures but then we parted ways, as she could not follow me to the transition area.

Volunteers marked my shoulder and the left side of my leg with the number 1271, and my age 43 went on my left calf for other competitors to see. I added things to my transition bags, turned in a run “special needs bag” with a low fat meal-replacement drink (I didn’t expect to have any special needs but the event was providing that service and I felt obligated to need something.) I didn’t turn in my bike “special needs bag.” I sat for several minutes in the change tent to get out of the wind. I watched many athletes try to remain calm. We all had our wetsuits by our feet and I think everyone was wondering when we should put them on. A few anxious athletes started putting on their wetsuits and then everybody did too.


The Swim 1:10:05
I entered the water at 6:35 am for a 7:00 start time. We were all told to enter the water but most were waiting until closer to the start time. This time I was going to warm up and get used to the water in hope of avoiding the terrible breathlessness that I and so many others experience at the beginning of the swim. It was a mass floating start. The pros left at 6:45 am. At about 6:50 am I got a cramp in my left calf. Not good. I had trained to swim but I had not trained to dog paddle. I tried to relax. I positioned myself on the left side so that I could breathe and site to my right. My strategy was to swim blind, keep my head down in the water as much as possible and site my direction by looking at swimmers on my right side instead of looking straight ahead which slows me down.

When the horn blew we were off. The swim was brutal but this time I was aggressive and more confident than I had been in the past. I actually positioned myself too far back as I was constantly stuck behind swimmers for the first quarter of the race. I darted for holes. The first mile was rough because swimmers would sometimes swim at angles over my legs or right in front of me (it’s also possible that I was the one swimming at angles). I had to stop, start, and dart through holes so much that after about a mile my left calf and both hamstrings started cramping up because of all the water-polo style swimming that I was doing. During the third quarter of the swim I had to tell my brain to stop sending electrical impulses to my legs while my arms pulled them along.

On the way back I was swimming against a surface current created by strong winds. I tried the best I could to draft just behind and to the left of other swimmers. Finally when I could see the finish I sprinted and made up some time.

I thought that I must have had a decent time in the swim. I was looking for a time between 1:10 and 1:20 but when I got out of the water I looked at the clock and it said 1:25. I was puzzled and disappointed. I had forgotten that the pros started 15 minutes before me. I learned after the race was over that my time was really 1:10. I could have used that good news later in the race when I stopped caring about going fast.



T1 (Transition 1) 6:55
After exiting the water I first ran to where race volunteers were helping athletes take their wet suits off. I tried to find the cord to my wetsuit zipper and release the Velcro strap at my neckline but I must have been fumbling around too much as a couple of people took over. They ripped my wet suit down to my waist and then commanded me to get down on my butt. Then with my feet pointing to the sky they ripped the wetsuit off my legs and handed it to me. I started running again and I think I passed a couple of people up the transition chute. I had quite a long run to my T1 bag that was lined up with all the others in numerical order in a large section of grass. I quickly found my bag and ran into the changing tent. I found a chair then someone immediately approached me and asked if I wanted help, a service offered to all athletes. No sooner did I say “yes” than the volunteer emptied my bag, laid all my stuff out and began to hand me things, albeit not always in order. The volunteer put my wetsuit and stuff back into my transition bag and took my bag back to the field. As I left the changing tent a volunteer read the number on my jersey and relayed my number by telephone to another volunteer who would retrieve my bike and hand it to me at the end of the isle. In my case I beat the volunteer but I appreciated the service.


The Bike 5:56:46 T2 4:57
Still thinking about what I thought was a disappointing time in the swim and with the wind picking up, I knew that it would be impossible to achieve a blazing time in my one and only Ironman. I ran with my bike as best I could with no blood in my legs and my biking shoes on, through the bike portal so the computer could read my timing chip that I had tied around my right ankle. I mounted the bike as soon as I was told that I could and took off.

The course was three laps and then a mini loop. Each lap consisted of a complicated yet short tour within Tempe that included many curves, sharp turns and 180-degree turnarounds and then a long trek out of the city and back. This is where the wind really had an impact. Going out was great but coming back was grueling. At on point the wind slowed my pace down to 12 mph on the flat. Nevertheless, I was hammering the bike and felt strong.


Disaster Strikes
A few miles into the loop there is a turn that I was warned about. There was also a big recording blaring, “1st, 2nd, and 3rd loops turn left, 4th loop turn right.” But here was my problem. Preceding this recording by a couple miles was a sign that said “2nd 3rd Left, Finish Right.” Since I had already finished 3 complete loops I went right thinking that I would start the 4th mini loop and later come to that recording again via a different route but instead I soon rode into the finish chute. I was confused. I turned around to see if the rider that I had recently passed had followed me. No, he hadn’t. Hundreds of people behind the barricades and several officials on the inside of the chute started yelling at me to, “Go,” “You can’t stop,” “You can’t turn around in the chute.” My bike speed was far greater than my ability to think. They took my bike away from me and handed me my transition bag. They guided me to the transition tent. I kept trying to utter that I needed to talk to an official and that I think I missed the mini loop. Finally I got to someone who quickly understood my problem because just before me there were two pro women who made the same mistake. An official jogged me back out to the course, backwards through the finish chute. I remounted my bike to finish the course. (Afterwards I learned that quite a few athletes made the same mistake, including Francisco Gonzalez from Mexicali who got disqualified and told me that he was heartbroken.)

By this time I had lost all of my inner equanimity. I “hammered” the bike and went anaerobic for the remaining 7 miles to try to regain lost time. Big mistake! I was losing control of my race.

After I finished the bike I had to explain that my transition bag was over by the officials table. Someone heard me and understood and let me past a barrier. I sat and paused in the change tent to try to get my head back together. I was confused at what my new goal should be since I was no longer on "Kona" pace. Inside my mind I was suffering the nearest thing to an anxiety attack that I have ever experienced.

My final bike time was 5:56:46 but if I had not made the wrong turn and if it had not been such a windy day my time would have been much faster. My final average speed was 18.8 but had been, I think, 19.7 before, in the wind. I am convinced that this would have been the equivalent to a “platinum” ride for me in the Tour de Tucson. I was very satisfied with my bike strength.


The Run 4:24:07
Before leaving the tent I guzzled about 250 calories of Hammer Gel (maltodextrin, mistake) from a squeezable flask and carried a small bottle of water and off I ran through the grass trail between the almost empty bike racks. Once on the road I tried to settle in to a rhythm. I expected to take a few miles to find my running (jogging) legs. What I didn’t expect was debilitating stomach cramps and a racing out-of-control heart rate. I tried to jog/walk for a while but soon started to accept that I had a bigger problem than just transitioning from biking to running. My heart raced even while I walked. I thought that that had to be caused by the anxiety that I was feeling for making such a blunder at the end of the bike.

The first half of my marathon was a disaster. I had to walk for what seemed like miles. I kept thinking about what had gone wrong. My legs were not cramping, nor my abdominal muscles. It was my stomach that was cramping and I was bloated. I concluded that I had calories in my stomach that were too concentrated to move into the blood stream. My energy level was good. I switched to straight water at the aid stations. I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t believe that I had made such a fundamental miscalculation. I knew I had to drink water and then wait to feel better. I kept walking and tried to jog every now and then. (In retrospect I must have been jogging more than I thought since my marathon time was not that bad.)

I walked passed another guy who had been walking for quite a while ahead of me. He told me that he had an asthma attack. I tried to console him by saying with a positive voice “No matter what we may be thinking right now, it is still a great day for us.”

Up ahead I caught another walker and said casually “How’s the plan?” He said he was having motivation problems. I asked how his “sugar” was. He thought it was okay. I told him that I had been walking for 9 miles (an exaggeration) but that I hoped to be recovered by mile 13 so that I could have a strong second half of the marathon.

At mile 13 I took off and finished the second half of the marathon in less than 2 hours, which means that my first half was about 2.5 hours. My overall marathon time was 4 hours and 24 minutes. I have a hard time believing this because there were several miles when I walked that took me between 15 and 16 minutes.

I drank water almost exclusively for the entire run and never felt low on calories. I had been trying to consume 500 calories of “Perpetuem” per hour (an e-caps product, mostly maltodextrin with a dash of protein and fat) during the bike and washing it down with water. Apparently most of the Perpetuem was not clearing my stomach probably due to my intense “Kona” effort as well as too little water. In retrospect I guess I should have consumed more water but this is ironic because I am a great believer in hydration and usually over hydrate and have to make too many potty stops. The wind quickly dried my sweat causing me to not notice the fluid loss and I must have lost a lot of moisture through my lungs.

Sometime during the run I muttered a heartfelt prayer, “I truly am grateful for good health.” It was a brief prayer but I repeated it twice.

The last mile was really fun. I saw Pam for an instant and pointed my finger at her as an act of recognition. The spectators lined the streets and were cheering loudly. I had the presence of mind to pick up my pace and interact with the spectators a bit. I smiled broadly, shook my fists now and then as a sign of strength, and nodded at the people who cheered the loudest.

As I approached the finish chute I looked ahead of me and behind me to put myself into a photogenic position (I didn’t want to finish just behind some heavy grandmother). I sprinted up the chute, started giving high fives to all the children who held up their hands through the metal barricades and smiled for the camera. What a great feeling!


Post Race
After I broke the tape at the finish line I was immediately met by an escort who ceremoniously hung a medal around my neck then walked me around to various stations to have my chip removed, get me a t-shirt, have my picture taken, wrap me in a foil blanket, and lead me to food. All the while she kept asking me how I was feeling and kept one hand on my back or shoulder at all times. I think she was looking for signs of feinting or needing medical attention.

I looked for Pam for a long time. She thought she could get my bike and bags and bring them to the finish line before I got there but it took her longer than anticipated. I waiting for over a half hour in the wind and started to get cold. I was glad to see Pam, finally, and tried to tell her about so many things all at once. After about 15 minutes of talking I said that I was starting to shiver and if I didn’t get to the car I was going to need medical attention (half joking). Pam rolled my bike through the crowds of people and I followed my blocker to the car. In short order we were on the road with the heater full blast on my feet and the windows cracked just a little so we could breath. I had no appetite. I drank a recovery drink then later bought a large Sprite at a gas station. We drove straight home and I knew that my body needed food even though I had no appetite. I bought a hamburger in Yuma (not exactly what I wanted but there were few other options). Before going to bed I had a meal-replacement drink and a few carrots that Pam brought to the bedside (just what I asked for but not exactly what I wanted because the kids were asleep and I didn’t want to make a racket in the kitchen). I closed my eyes at 1:30 am.


Afterthoughts
There are very few really big days in a person’s life. This was one of those days for me. This event has been in the back of my mind for over nine months and for the last 13 weeks of my peak training period it has been my number one priority.

I was happy with my speed. I achieved the time goal that I set 9 months ago in spite of a very windy day and a costly detour on the bike. I finished strong and with a smile on my face.

I don’t think I’ll do another Ironman because it is just too inconvenient for me to find a place to swim.

Now that it’s all over I am already starting to think, “It was no big deal.”


Next Goals
Sub 3-hour marathon in the fall 2005.
Platinum at Tour de Tucson November 19, 2005.

Todd Hansink
April 14, 2005